Homemade Saltine Crackers

Many of you know that our family has spent a considerable amount of the past month sick. Real sick. Ugh sick. Last Thursday, I came down with either an extremely quick 8-hour stomach flu or got food poisoning. Either way, there is only one way I can describe it: VIOLENT. The worst stomach ick I have experienced in my life time. I spent most of my morning on my hands and knees because I couldn’t stand straight, all the while practicing my daily routine of 2-year-old-damage-control. Thankfully The Bug was at school in the morning, and once we all got some rest in the afternoon (and I lost my cookies one last time), I was feeling better.

But then, The Hubs came home with a sore throat which turned into a bad cough. And this weekend, the Bug, looking beautiful here on Friday, spent most of her Easter Sunday like this:Poor thing. Can’t help but stop everything you are doing and just love on the girl.

So, when my stomach was all topsy-turvy, I thought to myself, “It’s a perfect opportunity to do a blog post on making homemade saltine crackers!” Right. Not really. It was more like this: “I am sicker than a dog, I need saltines to settle my stomach, I don’t want to spend the money on them, and I have a 2 year old that I don’t want to wrestle with in a store.” So, I decided to make them at home. Now, I figured that I, being the master multi-tasker that I am, should just go ahead and take some pictures of the process. That way, if I did end up surviving that nasty stomach bug, I could at least make a blog post out of it. So here’s my homemade saltine crackers…and it only took me three batches to figure them out! The ingredients are:

  • 1 cup all purpose flour (you can also use wheat or cornmeal)
  • 2 tablespoons melted butter
  • 4 to 8 tablespoons water
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt

I preheated my oven to 400 degrees. I pulled out Betty Margaret, my Kitchenaid mixer, and mixed the flour, melted butter, and salt. Adding the water 1 tablespoon at a time, I mixed ingredients until the dough cleaned the sides of the bowl. My dough ended up wanting about 5 tablespoons of water, but if you use wheat flour instead, you may have to use more. Then I rolled out the dough on my baking stone, sprinkling with additional salt and used a ravioli edger to cut them into squares. You could use a traditional pizza cutter too, but I just happened to pick up this cutie pie of a kitchen gadget at Goodwill for $.99 and wanted to try it out. I used a fork and poked holes in each of the squares to prevent bubbles and baked them for about 15 minutes, checking them after 10, until lightly golden brown. This amount of time makes them chewy. Then, leaving the crackers in the oven, I turned off the heat and let the crackers crisp for about 20 minutes. After the 20 minutes, I removed the crackers and let them cool on a wire rack. But of course, with anything bread-like baked in my oven, the crackers never cooled completely before I devoured them. Hey, I was hungry after throwing up, okay?

Not only did I love how easy this was to make at home…I loved the fact that it didn’t cost me anything extra! No trip to the store with a feisty 2 year old, no extra money for groceries I didn’t have budgeted. And they were so yummy. I think I’ll make these more often, even when I am not sick!

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